The concept of green and red flags in relationships isn’t new, though the terminology became popular in the past decade. Comparing green flags, like patience, with red flags, like possessiveness, can help you choose healthy relationships for yourself.

The popularization of these terms has somewhat diminished their impact. Even so, they can still be important in your friendships and romantic relationships. That is why it’s essential to disginguish between real red flags like consistent lying and relationship annoyances like having different tastes in movies.

Green Flags In Relationships

Green flags are positive characteristics and habits in a relationship that lead to long-lasting and healthy connections. While no person is perfect, the best partners tend to exhibit more green flags than red flags. The following 5 green flags are positive examples of behavior in a relationship that we believe are essential!

Genuine Support

Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader. No matter how big or small the event is, your significant other should be in your corner. Sometimes that looks like validating your feelings, while other times it looks like encouraging you to apply for a job you want. As long as there is no secret jealousy, the support can be a driving factor.

Healthy Conflict Resolution

There is no relationship without conflict resolution. Whether you identify as a lesbian, straight, bi, or another sexuality, it’s impossible to avoid conflicts in a relationship. Conflicts can even be a good way to foster connection and improve your bond. That being said, you and your partner should always strive to resolve it in a healthy way. That may be by talking it out, taking a little break to breathe, or even writing down pros and cons lists.

Both People Have Independent Ambitions and Interests

Being in love and dedicated to your partner does not mean they should be your whole world. The healthiest relationships are the ones in which both sides have independent ambitions and hobbies that they can share with each other. Your partner can support your interests without partaking in them. This also goes for friends— mutual friends are great, but having friendships separate from your relationship is a green flag.

Respect for Boundaries

We all have boundaries in life, whether we are aware of them or not. Your boundary may be something like not wanting to be pranked or being afraid of heights. Partners who respect your boundaries, even if they don’t understand them, are the ones known for their green flags. Of course, this respect for boundaries should go in both directions.

Honesty

This one may seem pretty obvious, but it is important always to be honest with your significant other. Communicating your feelings openly and directly can help keep your relationship strong and healthy. You can be certain you can trust your partner, and vice versa. From telling them what you think about their stubborn streak to discussing your boundaries in bed, honesty is the best policy.

Red Flag In Relationships

While one or two red flags don’t make someone a bad person, they could indicate the relationship is going downhill. Ideally, you can spot the red flags early in the dating stage so that you can go your separate ways without wasting time and emotions. To do that, you should know what the most common red flags in relationships are.

Playing the Blame Game

If you and your partner keep blaming each other for any issues that arise, the relationship isn’t likely to last. One of the biggest red flags in relationships is the habit of immediately shifting blame and deflecting responsibility. Oftentimes, nobody is at fault for particular issues, like forgetting to buy something at the store. But if your partner starts accusing you of messing up, then you might have a problem.

Lack of Trust

Trust is the foundation upon which all relationships are built. If you don’t have trust, then the relationship won’t last long. While the main question that tests trust in a relationship is fidelity, it isn’t the only one. If your partner doesn’t trust you to be faithful, to spend time away from them, or to have your own space, that is a red flag. One of the most common breaches of trust in the modern day is going through your devices in secret. Alternatively, your partner might show a lack of trust if they activate a device lock if you previously agreed to have full access.

Possessiveness

We cannot discuss common red flags in relationships without mentioning possessiveness. Possessive people dislike it when their partners have close bonds with anyone apart from them. That includes friends, coworkers, and even family members. Having a possessive partner can often make you feel like you are suffocating. It is also one of the early warning signs of intimate partner violence.

Jealousy of Your Success

The world can be challenging enough without having to battle your significant other’s jealousy. People with these red flags in relationships often throw temper tantrums when things are going well for their partners. You might find your partner starting arguments during your promotion dinner, sulking during your graduation, or even diminishing your success.

Dismissiveness of Your Interests

Your interests and hobbies are what add color to your life! No matter how long you’ve been into something or even how “good” you are at your hobby, your partner should never be dismissive of it. You might find yourself having to defend spending time painting or watching a TV show, or going to Pilates to your partner. In that case, they are dismissive of your interests, which is a red flag.